Benji and My Deer Husband

I just have to tell this story, even though it happened a couple of months ago, it must be recorded, because it has made me laugh over and over and over again. I don't know if anyone else will find this humorous, but at least it will be written down for me to come back to when I need a little "pick-me-up."

So, it was about 6:30 a.m. in the morning, when we were all still waking up. I was laying in bed and Tom, getting in the shower, looks out the back window and says, "Girls! Bambi is in the backyard!" and disappears into the shower. Sure enough, it was the smallest, sweetest, most peaceful little creature I had ever seen. This little fawn still had the speckled spots on it still. Maybe it was three or four days old. I couldn't believe that I was looking at such a perfect, tiny creature right in my backyard eating the grass and just being so mellow and cute.

I woke all four girls up to come outside and look at the baby "Bambi." They were ecstatic! We quietly tiptoed to the back door and as I cracked the back door open, I turned around for one last minute to remind Eliza to not let Benji out.  Famous last words.

The girls were very careful and all five of us were standing on the back porch, admiring the serene/tranquil national geographic scene, when I noticed that Benji had stuck his nose in the doorway so as to make the door ajar. He pushed his little body out through the crack and it was the end of our serene moment. Enter the demon.

Benji is a Cockapoo. I'm pretty sure Cockapoos are hunting dogs. At least this one is. Now that I think about it, I'm almost positive that the Royal family takes their Cockapoos to the Balmoral Summer Estate to hunt foxes. Our Royal dog Benji hunts every bird, cat, grasshopper, moving living breathing organism in our yard until they either A leave the property or B die. It's quite annoying really. This morning was NO different

The milli-second that our #@!* dog was out that back door he was chasing poor, sweet, innocent little Bambi. The sad part was, Bambi was not tall enough to jump over our 4 foot backyard fence so Benji would bark and snarl at this poor fawn and he would run as fast as he could and try his hardest to jump over the fence only to slam his entire body into the chain link barricade, fall to the ground and dizzily/wobbily try to stand up and make a run for it again. It was like a ping pong game with animals. 

Back and forth they went from left to right barking and slamming and falling. After about three rounds of this I immediately went into my doctor "trauma unit" mode. (I'm not a trauma doctor, but you know the mode that I'm talking about where there's a physiological explosion that is released somewhere between the heart and the brain.) I then started running after the dog yelling things that I can't repeat at this time. Just as soon as I thought I had Benji he'd outrun me, and I'd fall to the ground. To add even more chaos to this scene, add four crazed high-pitch screams (my little girls) with voices screeching as loud and as big as a voice box can get, especially Eliza, "BENJI-NO NO DON'T KILL BAMBI!" 

In my mind I had a picture of Benji getting the little Bambi and gnawing on his leg with blood squirting out, and me in the middle of the dog and the deer trying to pry the sweet fawn leg out of Benji's mouth. My mind did get ahead of myself, but it's just how it works sometimes.

The level of chaotic energy reached the maximum and it was time for me to call in reinforcements. I ran as fast as I could leaving all four girls to watch the foreboding scene.

Meanwhile, Tom was enjoying his extra-hot, calm, soothing, wake-up shower routine when I rushed into the bathroom, opened the shower door, reached in, turned off the water and yelled with every ounce of frazzled, anxiety inside of me "TOM, BENJI IS EATING BAMBI! YOU HAVE TO COME RIGHT NOW AND SAVE BAMBI!!!" I threw him a towel from the unfolded laundry basket,  he wrapped it around his cold, wet body and went running in an unknown direction. The ordeal was all happening in the backyard and that is where I went, Tom went running to the front yard.

I got back to the scene and somehow that sweet little Bambi found his way out. I think the fawn angels must have picked him up and plopped him over the fence. Benji then proceeded to go chasing after Bambi into the forest, barking and snarling the entire way. The girls and I yelled, "Run, Bambi, run!" with tears in our eyes and gallons of blood being pumped through our hearts by the second. I turned around to see where Tom was and there was no sign of him. I started yelling through the house trying to find him when finally I opened the front door and there he was. Picture this: Tom standing on the front driveway wrapped in a white dish towel dripping wet yelling Benji, Benji, (in a very sort of muffled/annoyed tone) with a thick fog all around him. He turned back to me and said, "Where are the dog and the deer?" "Well," I said "The entire ordeal took place in the backyard not the front yard and somehow, in someway a miracle occurred and the precious Bambi got away." I explained the entire manic scene to him that, mind you, HE started and then missed it all.

I then thought about it and stated, "Honey, while you were in a hot, relaxed mellow spa land, I was literally stuck in a National Geographic episode called Predator and Prey."

Tom looked at me and said, "Can't we just have a normal, peaceful morning like other people who look at the cute little animals and coo and caw over them?" I calmly exclaimed, "Yes, honey that would be nice....BUT this is going to make for a great story!" Tom replied, "Yes, but I like to READ these stories, not LIVE them."

And so it goes.

Cereal-y, So Blessed

I grew up in a large family and one of the ways my mom chose to save money was by making hot breakfasts. You know, the Waffle House sort of breakfast. The price of cold cereal could pay for days of thick buttermilk pancakes with that warm homemade maple syrup or oatmeal and brown sugar, bacon and eggs that were never ending, even funnel cakes in the letter of our first name with powdered sugar on top and hot dripping syrup. Ok, my mouth is salivating and it's 10:00 p.m. at night. I have to stop.

Due to my "hot breakfast upbringing," I have noticed that cold cereal does NOT do it for me like a hot breakfast, unless it is the sugary "bad for you stuff" that I was only allowed to have on Saturday mornings as a little girl. Tom, on the other hand, is perfectly content with his Bran Flakes, skim milk and flax seed for the rest of eternity. He finds it entertaining watching me eat a bowl of Raisin Bran cereal in the morning knowing that I am just pining away for a big HOT "grand slam" or maybe even some Cocoa Krispies.

The week started off as a dream childhood breakfast week.  Monday through Thursday I got up early and fixed the girls hot breakfasts. It was oh so good, but then...

Last Friday I woke up and realized we had no milk, no syrup, no eggs and no bacon. I got up and drove to the nearest grocery store and told myself I would buy only a couple of boxes of "healthy" cereal and stock up later on bacon/eggs and all of the other stuff. I got to the cereal isle and sort of lost my will power. I ended up buying $50.00 worth of cold cereal and milk. I don't know if it was the kid inside of me or what, but I did. I came home, put the boxes on the counter and I WISH I had a video camera to have filmed what came running down the hallway. Four screaming, frenetic, excited, little girls that saw those boxes of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, Oh's, Lucky Charms, and about 7 other boxes of the yummy crunchy, candy sweet cereal. You would have thought it was Christmas morning. In fact...I honestly think the screams were louder on this sugar cereal morning than they were on December 25th 2010.

Tom and I decided after witnessing this extravaganza that we know EXACTLY what we will be wrapping and putting underneath the Christmas tree this year. Waffle Crisp, Frosted Flakes, Crunch Berries, Lucky Charms, Sugar Puffs, Honey Combs, Cinnamon Life, Reeses Puffs, Trix, Fruity Pebbles and Count Chocula. 

Why not celebrate Christmas with some sweet crunchy soggy goodness? If Jesus were here on Christmas morning with us he might even have a bowl of Christmas Crunch himself and maybe I would even offer a funnel cake in the letter "J". One thing I do know is that I would like to personally thank Him for inspiring the man that invented sugar cereals because it has made many a sad mornings happy. Thanks General Mills and thank you Jesus.

Life is Like a Soccer Practice

Amelia came home about a month ago and said, "Mom, I REALLY want to play soccer this year!" So, like a good mother, I got her signed up after registration with only a $10 late fee. We went out and bought the ball, the socks, the shorts, the bag and we were ready to go! She and Daddy practiced a lot in the front yard.

After the first practice she came home and said that she liked it ok, but that she didn't really know what she was doing and the coach didn't really explain things very well. But that she would try again.

The following week it was time for soccer practice. Amelia did not want to go and started throwing her little fit:

Amelia: Mom, I don't want to go! I can't do it. All the girls are better than me and they know what they are doing and the coach just yells stuff and I don't understand.

Mom: Amelia, when you are confused do you ask questions to the coach?

Amelia: No, she scares me.

Mom: Amelia, you do realize that your coach is an adult and that adults are still kids inside trying to figure things out just like you. You don't have to be afraid of her. Ask questions when you have them.

Amelia: Well, it's not just that, it's hard because I have to run a lot and I get tired sometimes.

Mom: I don't care. We are going to finish this. We are not quitters and sometimes in life you have to stick to something before you find the joy or the fun in it. And, when it gets hard and you are out of breath just know you'll be a stronger girl for it. Guess what...

Amelia: What?

Mom: I HATE laundry. Did you know that? I H-A-T-E doing laundry, but guess what.

Amelia: What?

Mom: I do it, why? Because in the end when all the clothes are put away it feels good. And when I really don't feel like doing the laundry I focus on my family and the clean clothes and the good smell that I am giving to my children and husband as a gift. It's like a BIG present in your closet every week. Remember that ok?

Amelia: Ok.

Mom: And you know what else?

Amelia: What?

Mom: When I was in graduate school I wanted to quit about 100 times, but I didn't, because Dad would not let me. So I am not going to let you quit.  You just started and you are going to learn some wonderful things from soccer about endurance, and hard work and some stick-tuitiveness.

Amelia: Fine...

So, she got on her soccer garb and off we went to practice. She did great! She ran and she kicked and she dribbled and she watched and listened and had a great time.

After practice she came running up to me and I asked her, "How was it?" She replied, "Mom, it was good, I really liked it. Can I keep playing and go practice dribbling?" I was shocked and said, "Sure!"

So off she ran back to the field to dribble and run. Her coach came up to her and they were huddled together talking about this and that when I saw one of the girls from the team across the field, probably 40 feet away, drop the ball and kick it towards Amelia and the coach. It was really like watching a movie in slow motion at this point. The ball flew high up to the sky with one of those perfect arches that balls can do. It was a beautiful kick and against the blue blue sky it looked like a flying saucer. As it came down it could not have been more dead on. It hit Amelia on the left side of her head striking her cheek and her ear. It was in one of those moment when you say to yourself "REALLY? THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN TO MY DAUGHTER NOT AFTER ALL OF OUR POSITIVE TALK! Seriously what are the chances." And then you look at the girl who kicked it and she has NO remorse and just stands there and mumbles sorry to you and then that mama bear starts to come out, but you have to completely control her!

I watched as the coach hugged her and her body started to shake and convulse from the sobs.

I got up and ran as fast as I could to hold her and hug her and it was then I realized the lesson that I would share with her. Sometimes life is like a soccer practice. We don't want to do it, we struggle and we work and we endure and then we love it and we have a grand time! But just when we think that it is all going to be great and good and fun, life hits us square in the head. And that is the real test. That is when we cry and yell and and let out our pain and pray that we can keep going. And we do. We keep going and going and eventually, we forget the pain and find the joy again in this marvelous game called life.

Benji's Reprieve

I sat on the living room couch picked up my computer to check my bank account and start paying the bills. First of all I really DON'T look forward to this day, and second of all I especially don't look forward to this day when I get a whiff of dog pee in my LIVING ROOM! I turned around and walked right over to the spot by the piano and sure enough it was WET AGAIN.

I got on the phone and called my friend..."I'm serious this time, I am saying goodbye to Benji once and for all. I can't take this anymore!" To which she replied, "Oh, Adriane, I told you so...you shouldn't have gotten that dog." We continued to discuss the possibilities of Benji's future. The humane society, Nana's farm, cousin Isaac's new dog, free cycle dog, craig's list dog. 

I went ahead and paid the bills and put Benji outside for the moment. I took some deep breaths and went on with my day for there was still MUCH to be done of the daily grind, regardless of Benji and his pee issues.

During the next four hours, I was still pondering ways to tell the girls that Benji was gone. He "ran away," or  "we took him to a new home." But...in the middle of my thoughts the phone rang and it was my sister Olivia.

Olivia: Adriane, Raula died.

Adriane: What? You've had that snake (boa constrictor) for so long what happened?

Olivia: Well, last Tuesday I called mom and told her that Raula died, but I was just kidding, then on Thursday I got home from teaching and I saw Raula in her terrarium upside down. So I picked her up and put her on the floor and she started to slither very slowly. I decided to then put her back in the terrarium and put the heating lamp on, because I thought she might be cold.

Adriane: Seriously? Oh, no.

Olivia: Today after school I saw her upside down again so I thought to myself, I should really take her to the vet to see what is the matter. So, I took her to the vet and he put her on the table and examined her. The vet then told me that Raula was dying either from kidney failure or cancer and that the most humane (animane) thing to do would be to put her to sleep, because she was in a LOT of pain. I asked the vet how much that would cost and he said $100. He then gave me options and said I could take her home and let her die slowly, but that it would be a very painful death for her and really, again the most humane choice would be to give her a shot and put her to sleep. At that moment the little snake lifted her head and turned and looked at me, oh and Adriane I speak parcel tongue.

Adriane: What is parcel tongue?

Olivia: It's from Harry Potter, it's the snake language.

Adriane: Seriously?

Olivia: Seriously, (laughter) but no....really the little snake really did lift her head right at that moment as if to say, "PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" 

Adriane: Oh. My. Word.

Olivia: Yes, so then I thought about it and I decided. Raula has given me many good years of scaring lots of teachers and she has been a GREAT classroom pet for ALL of the behavioral special ed. kids so the least I can do for her is to give her a peaceful death. I then told the vet that I would like for her to be put to sleep. At that moment the nurse technician came in and asked me if I would like to bury Raula at home or if I would like her remains and I told her that I would like neither of these options. So, I said my last goodbyes to Raula and left.

Adriane: Oh. My. Word. (sniffle) Did you cry?

Olivia: I actually did. Oh, and mom said that I wasted $100 and that I should have just gotten a machete and chopped her head off and make a stuffed snake head and mounted it on a piece of wood.

Adriane: She. Did. Not. Say. That!

Olivia:  Yes, she did...to which I replied..."Mom, when Teddy (her brown poodle) dies would you have a poddle purse made out of it?" Laughter, laughing, laughing.

Adriane: Oh. My. Word.

As I hung up the phone I was wiping tears from my eyes. Not that I was close to Raula the snake, but that it was just the thought of this living animal, this living thing that was a part of my sisters daily life gone...and just how tenuous life is in general.

I sat down in the living room again and started smelling the strong dog pee smell (which I'm still irate about), but I feel differently. I mean, regardless of the pee bit Benji is a REALLY good dog and Eliza loves him and the girls do play with him and...well...I just need to figure this out for the sake of my girls.

I think I am about ready to call the dog whisperer because obviously I haven't learned how to speak dog yet, but I'm sure I can learn. Benji really has been a "background to our lives" and not just something I can get rid of when he makes a mistake. I'm pretty sure it's me making the mistakes.

My dad told me last week when he was here, "DOG is GOD spelled backwards you know why?" to which I replied, "No, why?" "Well, because if you think about it, dogs have all the same attributes as God. Hmmm...yes, that's mostly true, except for the fact that Benji pees on my piano and I know that God would not do that. But, I have had a talk with God about the Dog and well...I'll be keeping Benji until that sad day when my vet tells me I should put him out of his misery.

P.S. Raula used to be Raul until my sister Olivia took him to the vet and told her it was a girl. 

Popcorn Tooth

So, Friday Julia was eating popcorn. She wasn't just eating one little piece at a time, but pretty much stuffing it down her mouth. "Mom!" she yelled, "I've got a popcorn something stuck in my gums!" She then proceeded to cry and whine and moan. I explained to her that she probably had a piece of popcorn kernel stuck in her gums and that I would need some dental floss to get it out.

So, I got the floss and I worked for about 10 minutes trying to get the tiny morsel unstuck from the tiny tooth. I worked the floss up and down and in between and at some point she said, "Mom, I think you got it!"

On we went through the weekend doing weekend things, playing soccer etc. But...I must say I noticed her tooth today and her gums all around that tooth were inflamed and red. In my mind there was a conversation going on in my head, it sounded something like this:

"Mmmmm....the gums around that tooth look pretty bad, should I call the dentist? If I go in there and nothing is wrong I'm going to feel like an idiot and waste time and money, BUT if I don't go in there and there is something wrong, I will be happy that I went in and it won't have wasted time and money...and if I don't do anything about the tooth it could abscess and she could get brain damage....mmmmm....what to do, what to do...well, I'll wait a bit and see if it passes....(an hour later)well...what the heck I'm going to take a chance and just call and get an appointment."

So I called, 2:00 p.m. was the first opening they had. Now mind you, this dentist office is sort of like Chuck' e Cheese on crack. The kids love it, and all the parents looked stoned. We got there and I started playing a video game. The nurse came out and called for Julia about 3 times and none of us could hear her, because literally it's like your senses are being assaulted when you enter the waiting room. So, we walk back to the back and I'm immediately nervous. In my head I'm thinking, "I hope nothing is wrong, but I kind of hope something IS, so it's not for naught."

Dr. Will (who I love) came over to the chair and I explained the entire ordeal. I had to tell him twice that this was a "peace of mind" appointment. (I don't want him thinking I'm some weird overprotective mother) and he nods his head with agreement and said, "Let's check it out!"

At this point (all of you mothers out there can agree with me on this one), I felt a bit vulnerable.  Whenever I have a "peace of mind" check-up because I'm not sure that I'm there for the right reasons or not. So, my heart was sort of pounding and I watched.

He got his little utensil mirror and all of a sudden he said, "A ha! There it is!" He then grabbed his poky tool and carved onto Julia's little gum for a minute and pulled out a HUGE popcorn kernel! I was elated. My appointment had NOT been in vain and it's going to be a while before she eats popcorn again!

Eliza's Baptism

Last Sunday my little Eliza was baptized by her daddy. It was a beautiful evening with Grandmas and Grandpas and lots of ward family members. We felt very loved and supported by all of the good friends that we have here and we could not have done it without them. So, thank you so much for coming and being there with Eliza on her special day! Below are the photos! We love you Eliza!!!

Christmas 2010 Pictures

So, this was our last minute photo shoot for our Christmas pictures. The photo seen on the right was the final family photo, but I thought these ones were really cute of the girls....Merry Belated Christmas!