Turning Forty

Ok, so I've had a hard day and I didn't think it would be this hard! I know it's just a number and it doesn't matter, but it kind of does, because it's like the "hump" day of my life. It was one thing to have a halfway mark on the mission and burn the panty hose and the jumper, and it was another thing to have a "hump" day to college when you knew you were halfway to graduation BUT halfway to my life? I know I could live past 80, but most women these days with all the stress and craziness only live till they're about 75 don't they? And frankly, I'm not really one of those people that pines away to live till I'm in my 90s or 100s. Have you seen most people who are in their 90s? I have seen a few and frankly I don't want to wear Depends, I don't want to slobber when I eat and I definitely DON'T want my children having to change my diaper. I feel like 40 is halfway to all of that and it's kind of depressing.

But... I am taking the advice of my brother Rick who tells me to be grateful for my body, because it works and it breathes and it walks and it laughs and it does all the wonderful things that it was created to do! He's right, I know he is, but for just one day I want the chance to feel how I want to feel and to be depressed about it and then I will move on.

People have been telling me that they have this bucket list for when they turn 50 and 60, but I've decided after reading the book "The Happiness Project" (which is a great read) I'm going to start one now. The first item on my bucket list is this:

1. No more being a computer circus monkey.

A computer monkey is that thing where you sit down at your computer and your brain has been trained over time to automatically go through the same motions over and over just...because that's what it does! Example: Sit on red couch, turn on computer, check bank account, check Facebook, check e-mail check 3 blogs that I've been reading for years and are frankly becoming completely mind numbing, turn off computer and sit and think....that didn't make me feel any better.

So, instead of being a computer circus monkey, I'm going to be an analog wild monkey who thinks and acts in its natural habitat to do natural things.

I have many more things on my bucket list, but too many to explain right now, so I'm just going to let the girls continue doing my hair for me and trying to make me feel special! That's all...Happy Birthday to me.