Benji's Reprieve

I sat on the living room couch picked up my computer to check my bank account and start paying the bills. First of all I really DON'T look forward to this day, and second of all I especially don't look forward to this day when I get a whiff of dog pee in my LIVING ROOM! I turned around and walked right over to the spot by the piano and sure enough it was WET AGAIN.

I got on the phone and called my friend..."I'm serious this time, I am saying goodbye to Benji once and for all. I can't take this anymore!" To which she replied, "Oh, Adriane, I told you so...you shouldn't have gotten that dog." We continued to discuss the possibilities of Benji's future. The humane society, Nana's farm, cousin Isaac's new dog, free cycle dog, craig's list dog. 

I went ahead and paid the bills and put Benji outside for the moment. I took some deep breaths and went on with my day for there was still MUCH to be done of the daily grind, regardless of Benji and his pee issues.

During the next four hours, I was still pondering ways to tell the girls that Benji was gone. He "ran away," or  "we took him to a new home." But...in the middle of my thoughts the phone rang and it was my sister Olivia.

Olivia: Adriane, Raula died.

Adriane: What? You've had that snake (boa constrictor) for so long what happened?

Olivia: Well, last Tuesday I called mom and told her that Raula died, but I was just kidding, then on Thursday I got home from teaching and I saw Raula in her terrarium upside down. So I picked her up and put her on the floor and she started to slither very slowly. I decided to then put her back in the terrarium and put the heating lamp on, because I thought she might be cold.

Adriane: Seriously? Oh, no.

Olivia: Today after school I saw her upside down again so I thought to myself, I should really take her to the vet to see what is the matter. So, I took her to the vet and he put her on the table and examined her. The vet then told me that Raula was dying either from kidney failure or cancer and that the most humane (animane) thing to do would be to put her to sleep, because she was in a LOT of pain. I asked the vet how much that would cost and he said $100. He then gave me options and said I could take her home and let her die slowly, but that it would be a very painful death for her and really, again the most humane choice would be to give her a shot and put her to sleep. At that moment the little snake lifted her head and turned and looked at me, oh and Adriane I speak parcel tongue.

Adriane: What is parcel tongue?

Olivia: It's from Harry Potter, it's the snake language.

Adriane: Seriously?

Olivia: Seriously, (laughter) but no....really the little snake really did lift her head right at that moment as if to say, "PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" 

Adriane: Oh. My. Word.

Olivia: Yes, so then I thought about it and I decided. Raula has given me many good years of scaring lots of teachers and she has been a GREAT classroom pet for ALL of the behavioral special ed. kids so the least I can do for her is to give her a peaceful death. I then told the vet that I would like for her to be put to sleep. At that moment the nurse technician came in and asked me if I would like to bury Raula at home or if I would like her remains and I told her that I would like neither of these options. So, I said my last goodbyes to Raula and left.

Adriane: Oh. My. Word. (sniffle) Did you cry?

Olivia: I actually did. Oh, and mom said that I wasted $100 and that I should have just gotten a machete and chopped her head off and make a stuffed snake head and mounted it on a piece of wood.

Adriane: She. Did. Not. Say. That!

Olivia:  Yes, she did...to which I replied..."Mom, when Teddy (her brown poodle) dies would you have a poddle purse made out of it?" Laughter, laughing, laughing.

Adriane: Oh. My. Word.

As I hung up the phone I was wiping tears from my eyes. Not that I was close to Raula the snake, but that it was just the thought of this living animal, this living thing that was a part of my sisters daily life gone...and just how tenuous life is in general.

I sat down in the living room again and started smelling the strong dog pee smell (which I'm still irate about), but I feel differently. I mean, regardless of the pee bit Benji is a REALLY good dog and Eliza loves him and the girls do play with him and...well...I just need to figure this out for the sake of my girls.

I think I am about ready to call the dog whisperer because obviously I haven't learned how to speak dog yet, but I'm sure I can learn. Benji really has been a "background to our lives" and not just something I can get rid of when he makes a mistake. I'm pretty sure it's me making the mistakes.

My dad told me last week when he was here, "DOG is GOD spelled backwards you know why?" to which I replied, "No, why?" "Well, because if you think about it, dogs have all the same attributes as God. Hmmm...yes, that's mostly true, except for the fact that Benji pees on my piano and I know that God would not do that. But, I have had a talk with God about the Dog and well...I'll be keeping Benji until that sad day when my vet tells me I should put him out of his misery.

P.S. Raula used to be Raul until my sister Olivia took him to the vet and told her it was a girl.